The Player.
This is the guy who prides himself on his ability to insinuate himself into the pants of just about any woman he chooses.
He thinks that because he knows how to manipulate a woman into liking him, through using certain behaviors and patterns of speech, then he's "successful" with women - and with life in general. After all, he's living every guy's most primal dream: he can sleep with a different gorgeous woman every night of the week if he feels like it. (At least, this is what he tells his friends.)
You might hear this guy being referred to by his mates as a "pick-up artist".
He might have a "wing-man", somebody who he goes out picking up girls with.
This "wing-man" will frequently introduce his player friend in a rehearsed manner that promotes the player's "high value" as a man. For example, "Hey, this is my friend Brad. He dated Miss November. Nice!"
Or, "Check out this picture of Ashley's last girlfriend - how HOT is THAT?" (Cue carefully-chosen photograph of said player with a beautiful woman in a bikini.)
If the player is skilled, these little "routines" will be done in a way that skilfully, deliberately piques your curiosity. The average woman isn't expecting a man to have the nous to manipulate her so subtly - so she falls for the bait, every time.
The point of these 'player strategies' is to make you think that he's not affected by your own particular brand of beauty or charm ... that you're nothing special, and that, in fact, you'll be lucky to get him.
Through their literature, these PUAs have told him that, in order to get past YOUR "bitch-shield" that you naturally possess as an attractive woman, he has to demonstrate to you that you are nothing special to him.
Because you're used to being pursued by desperate, supplicating men (as the popular theory goes), this lack of interest will intrigue you, and you'll begin to wonder why he's not chasing after you.
Before you know it, you'll actually be chasing HIM - all because he didn't demonstrate any interest in you at first, and made it clear that plenty of other women are interested in him.
He's manipulated you. Another success for the PUAs.
But not if you're smart!
You can cut through all this crap by not playing along with his silly games. After all, you're not interested in dating a player (that is, a man who's interested in you for the CHALLENGE you present to him, not the woman that you are.)
You're interested in dating a real MAN - someone who's prepared to prove to you that he's interesting and worthy of your interest, but who is ALSO self-confident enough to require that YOU be interesting to HIM.
If you know a player, and you think he could be worth the effort - as in, he's not just some chump who knows how to seduce females, but a genuinely intelligent, creative man who's just headed in the wrong direction romantically - here's what you can do:
GIVE HIM ONE CHANCE, AND ONE CHANCE ONLY.
The moment a guy starts behaving in ways that you feel might be a trick to "get" you to feel or act a certain way ...
... for example, he might use the "Photo Routine", which is where he shows you a stack of 'holiday pics' interspersed with photos of himself posing with other beautiful women (goal: to get you to feel jealous, and see him as a desirable guy) ...
... or he might try to 'neg' you, which is where he recognizes that you are probably 'higher value' than him, and attempts to equalize your social status by subtly putting you down verbally (for example, telling you that you've got something in your ear when you don't) ...
Remember that the aim of his "player" behavior is to prove to you that HE is the 'catch' here - more than you. He wants to manipulate you into thinking that he's actually doing you a favor by allowing you the opportunity to become interested in him.
Why is he trying to manipulate you like this? To make it easier for him to hook up with you, of course. He thinks that if YOU think he's a real 'catch', you're not going to shoot him down. End of story.
He doesn't know that he doesn't need to act like this to get your attention.
If you keep cool and don't play into his games by becoming flustered, emotionally wrought, or jealous, then YOU keep the upper hand, YOU intrigue HIM, and YOU WIN.
Comments
Post a Comment